Tell me… when you reflect back on 2019, what do you see?
I find that when we simply think back, with no direction, the view can be hazy, or certain things take over and become the focus.
But, when I look back with intention, asking myself those “dig deep” questions, I start excavating what really went on throughout the year – what I can celebrate and where I can grow.
Asking myself powerful questions is something I practice year round. Sometimes at set intervals, and also when I’m feeling stuck or struggling with a decision. Year end is one of my set intervals. Every December, I ask myself a few questions, meant to really dig into the year that’s gone by, and to start setting intentions for the new year to come.
I always like to share my answers to these questions to show that it’s really about getting honest with yourself. You certainly don’t have to publish your answers publicly, or even share them with anyone at all. These answers are for your own growth – your own journey. So get ready to get totally vulnerable with yourself, totally honest with yourself, and set to take 100% responsibility for what you’ll bring into 2020.
5 Year End Questions to Take Leadership of Your Life in 2020
Q: What were you most proud of and grateful for this year?
A: Getting my book I Attract What I Am on Audible, completing my Team Performance Coaching certification and starting my Co-Active Leadership Program. Also, making progress towards publishing my second book, Why Can’t I Just Be Me?, and planting lots of seeds towards what I want to create.
Q: What lessons did you learn?
A: Oh boy. This was a tough one. Sometimes, you have to make the same mistake over and over until you fully get it (even coaches!). This year, I finally got it: Trust my inner voice over other people’s voices. Always.
A person I trusted recommended I partner with someone else. My inner voice said no, but I trusted this woman, so I went to meet with the person she recommended. Long story short, after a few meetings with this person, openly sharing from my heart, she got a “creative inspiration” from me. She put those ideas out there and cut off contact with me. Now, that was her choice and I am not responsible for that. But, I am responsible for how I show up and the choices that I make. I should have listened to my inner voice and I helped create the situation by choosing not to.
In my coaching and life, I focus a great deal on not letting the “Gremlins” get to you, and not letting negativity from others impact your choices. But, other people’s input isn’t always negative. That doesn’t mean it should take precedence over our own inner voices. I trusted the person who recommended this woman, and her recommendation was probably well-intentioned. This was not a negative voice. But it wasn’t right for me. If I had listened to my inner voice and honoured its message, I could have avoided a bad situation.
Q: What do you need to forgive yourself or others for?
A: This was a year of really stretching myself: giving more presentations to large corporations, and doing more corporate and leadership coaching. A Lot of self- acceptance was required, as saboteurs kick in whenever you stretch. I need to forgive myself for letting those saboteurs kick in.
How did it happen? In setting firm boundaries. It’s hard to set boundaries. There is a definition out there that “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” I love this definition because it is a reminder that boundaries are really about building strong relationships.
Most people will have some kind of reaction to boundary setting because they are not used to it, and it can feel unpleasant. The good ones calm down, take it in, and respect the boundaries you set. Those that can’t are not meant to be in your life.
I need to forgive myself for allowing these saboteurs to kick in; for ignoring the little girl in me who was telling me to set even more boundaries. It felt too uncomfortable and I need to forgive myself for those moments of choosing comfort over growth.
I also need to forgive myself for not always coming from a heart of peace. Sometimes we get triggered, annoyed and see people as obstacles instead of as human beings with their own hopes, needs, cares and fears that are as real as our own. This insight was inspired by a great book I read this year – The Anatomy of Peace, published by The Arbinger Institute – I will take forgiveness into 2020, forgiving myself and others for our basic humanness, so that I can fully embrace what comes into my life.
Q: What are your intentions for 2020?
A: I will complete my Co-Active Leadership program, sign with a conscious publisher, and continue to align more with my life purpose and putting my leadership quests forward. These intentions are about taking real steps towards what I want to create, while also incorporating that big lesson of prioritizing my inner voice.
Q: What word will be your 2020 theme?
A: Relationship – Relationship from my highest self, activating the creative genius fully, to do things that expand me, rather than contract me. Relationship with my inner child – give her the microphone to hear what she needs, tune into her, and listen to her completely. We tend to block this voice saying it’s silly, or even that it’s coming from a place of childish fear. But this voice has a purpose to guide us with compassion and courage, and to show us what we need to reflect on and heal. Our inner child doesn’t go away by being ignored. Instead, it crops up in other areas of our lives as stress, anxiety, triggered emotions, restlessness, bitterness and more. By tuning in and strengthening our relationship with our inner child, we gain insight into what drives us and are able to take leadership of our emotions, inner thoughts and triggers.
Through this theme, I will create conscious relationships and nothing less. What do I need to put in place to create safe spaces with myself and others? The intention to create more relationships from a heart of peace – that peaceful place where “I can love you and me simultaneously”. Solid boundaries that honour myself and others, forgiveness and compassion for our own humanness, and a strong connection with my own inner voice will set the foundations of the relationships I build and renew in 2020.
Try asking yourself these five questions and being completely vulnerable and open with yourself in your answers. Remember, you cannot change what you don’t acknowledge. Bring it all into the light. Accept all of it as part of you and, therefore, worthy of your love and compassion. Have the courage to fully own where you are today, so that you can truly become the CEO of your life, and take leadership of your journey in 2020.
When I first embarked on my path, I did so with the mindset that our thoughts create our reality. Years into my journey, I am continually learning this incredible and empowering truth through my experiences and reflections.
Let’s look at your thoughts and what you are doing. Take leadership of your life for 2020 so that you can have a year like never before.
Ready to become the CEO of your life? Connect with me ;-)
Wishing you joy filled holidays!!