When Do You Dare Bring the True You Out?

When Do You Dare Bring the True You Out?

I was at my leadership training with the Co-Active Training Institute in North Carolina recently when I got a call from my mom. She told me my grandmother was not doing well. She had pneumonia, wasn’t talking, the antibiotics weren’t working, her kidneys were failing…

It was Thursday and my flight home was booked for late Monday night. I told her I would go see my grandmother as soon as I arrived on Monday.


“She probably won’t make it till Monday,” she told me.

My body froze and I felt a pain in my heart. My grandmother? Although she is 91 years old, I could not accept her dying without me saying one final goodbye. She was my rock; my safe space. She was the person that consistently gave me unconditional love, accepting me fully for exactly who I was. She always stood by me no matter what, encouraged whatever choices I made and always gave me great advice, all while respecting who I was and the choices I was making. She was always joyful and positive. She was really important in my life, especially growing up. She was full of life and would say so many things that most grandparents would not even mention to their grandchildren like, “You need to eat well, you know. You burn 1000 calories when you have sex.” She was full of surprises!

What was I to do? I am part of a 10 month leadership program in a tribe of 26 people that I love. The program is truly meaningful to me and my life purpose, and if I miss a training day (there are 4 weeks of live training over 10 months), I can’t continue with the same tribe.

What was I to do?

I couldn’t imagine not saying goodbye to my grandmother, and I also couldn’t imagine leaving my leadership tribe.

I decided I had to ask for help from the people around me and the Universe. I don’t typically like asking for help but, in this case, I could not do it alone. In leadership training, we’re taught that asking for help is important because there is simply no way we could make it as great leaders by doing things alone. To continuously move forward, learn, grow and succeed, we have to open up to leaning into the experience, strength and energy of the amazing people surrounding us.

Summoning Help

I asked my tribe mates if, at the end of our training day, we could gather together and put out good thoughts for my grandmother.

They all happily agreed.

helpSo there we were, all of us sitting in a circle. I had a picture of my grandmother out and lit some candles. I shared stories about her and how she inspired me. She used to tell me how, during the Hungarian Revolution, she was working in a hospital. When bombs would drop, everyone who could duck would until the bombs passed. She would duck and pray hard. When she would get up, so many people around her would be dead and she would feel so grateful to be alive. Her unending positivity was so impressive. She has always been a role model of strength, love, joy and lightness. Of being her truest self, bravely and unapologetically. Of turning towards gratitude no matter what. I asked everyone to send her prayers to hold on until I made it back so that I could say my final goodbyes.

Everyone did so with a loving heart. I was so grateful to each of these beautiful souls. The tribe even took it up a notch, taking co-creation to a whole new level. They asked their own family members up in heaven to welcome my grandmother when she arrived. One of them even said she had a charming uncle who would be happy to accompany her. Another advised her to stay away from her dad as he wasn’t good news. So much love, humour and lightness was created. I felt my grandmother was in great hands and would leave this world in peace and love.

Then, one of my teachers (in leadership we call them ‘Leader in Front’) presented the idea that, if it felt right, I could open it up so we could send love and positive vibes to other people who were sick or who had passed.

And we did this. Quite a few of my tribe members talked about friends or family members that were not well and needed love sent their way. We all sent lots of love to each of these people.

It was a beautiful evening and we all connected on a deeper level.

Continuous Miracles

The next day, one of my tribe members came up to me crying saying as we were sending love out the night before, someone she was thinking of passed over at that exact time. She thanked me for doing the circle as she felt that she sent love to her friend as she was passing. As a result, she felt a heart of peace that she had sent her love at that time.

I made it home and my grandmother was still alive. Not only was she alive, but her fever broke, the antibiotics kicked in, the light had come back on inside her and she started talking again!! It was truly miraculous.

I then heard feedback from my tribe mates…


“Goosebumps! You KNEW it and it was so. ❤️”

“More miracles: the boyfriend (88) of my mother (84) almost died last week after 2 boughts of pneumonia in a row. He was the one I honoured in this circle of intention. And he has had a miraculous recovery also this weekend. So thank you all!!! You are powerful beyond measure when putting your energies together!”

“My grandmother (who I honored in the circle) is out of the hospital and in rehab, and will go home shortly!!!”

“I had a number of people in my halo of thought that night – one being my husband who is going through a wicked hard time. When I arrived home on Sunday night, his face was brighter than I have seen it in a long time.”

I couldn’t believe it. Then my Leaders in Front told me:

“What a wonderful example of the impact of intention.”

“Wow– u are one powerful leader…thank u for guiding us all into a world where we can create without effecting. One of your quests is to bring more of this into the world.”

More of Me???

More of this??? Lots of people call this type of thing “woowoo”. Me? Bring more woowoo into the world? These are just my beliefs and although I truly believe in them, are they something for me to bring forward? How can I bring more of this into the world without being labelled? Without tons of judgment and assumptions? How can I bring this into corporate environments?

What I do know is that the effects of the intention circle for my grandmother were exponential. A lot of people who thought that things like this were “woowoo” are not believers. But, a lot of people got inspired and wanted to learn more. They got inspired to start putting their true selves out there. The power of many people sending love and light into the world can create miracles.

When you do drop your masks, when you do things that feel good and from the heart, things that you truly believe in, when your thoughts, words, actions, heart and soul are aligned, everything is possible.

I believe my grandmother is one of the people that came to this earth to always look out for me. She supported me unconditionally her whole life. Even as she is getting ready to leave this world, she gave me the best gift ever: a situation where I had to ask for help, where I created true community, and – most importantly – where I could be 100% me.

Bringing More of the Essence of you Forward

Since this experience, I’ve decided that one of my leadership quests is to bring more of this part of me into the world.

I am not quite sure yet how I will do it, but I have promised myself to bring a little more of it forward each day by sharing my true beliefs with everyone, no matter the situation, supporting others that share their true selves, and inspiring others to bring their true selves forward. And, just as that powerful experience presented itself to me at my leadership training, I am opening myself to more opportunities that may come my way. Only by each of us dropping our masks can we create true, heartfelt connection. When we do, we create beautiful, infinite possibilities.