It took a lot for me to be completely open and vulnerable in my last article “How Break Ups Can Fuel Your Life and Career”. I must admit I was afraid of exposing so much of myself. I was afraid of what people would think and the potential reaction it could have. Would people think I was emotionally unstable? Would people unsubscribe from my newsletters?
I initially wrote the article as a form of self-therapy and my intuition told me to share my story. I argued with it a bit, and then reluctantly agreed. The result? I had over 50 people write to me and tell me how much they appreciated me being so open, how they lived similar experiences and were happy and inspired to know they were not the only ones feeling the same way. I also received so much love and support for what I was going through. Wow! I am truly blessed. Thank you so much. It really means a lot to me.
On my end, I will continue to be open and vulnerable about my journeys with the intention of potentially helping others, since I feel these lessons can be applied in both personal and professional situations.
A few weeks have passed since my break up and I had some time to reflect on the lessons I learned. I wanted to share them with the intent of benefiting you. So here goes…
#1 Lesson Learned
Be honest with yourself as to what you TRULY want and don’t settle for less than everything.
If you are not happy with the work that you do, what is keeping you there? How about considering taking steps towards making what you really want happen? Fix your CV, network, look around, consider starting your own business… Don’t settle for what you don’t want, don’t accept the status quo, you owe it to yourself to do work that you love and that is truly fulfilling to you.
In terms of relationships, if you want a committed relationship, don’t accept a casual one. Don’t settle for pieces. Don’t settle for a relationship that is not aligned with your values and the direction you are going in life. You are enough and you deserve it all!
#2 Lesson Learned
Consider everything that happens to be happening FOR you and not TO you.
Often when we go through unpleasant experiences, we can ask ourselves questions like, “Why is this happening to me?” Or, “What did I do to deserve this?”
Instead, how about looking at it from the perspective that your life is working FOR you?
One way to view everything that happens to you, whether it be totally blissful or extremely painful, is that it is happening for a reason. So, with this perspective, every person that comes across your journey, whether it is the boss from hell or the person that breaks your heart, is your life working FOR you.
There is something to learn from every event and person. It’s happening for your highest good. As my Shaman told me, “Accept the gifts, and leave the rest.” The Universe has your back.
#3 Lesson Learned
Don’t fight death, accept it.
When you walk through a forest, you will see dead leaves and trees as well as new ones sprouting up. When something dies, something new will be born. Don’t resist the death. Don’t try to hold onto it. Let it go. It died for a reason. It was time to say good bye. As my friend, Eden Clark would say, “The more quickly you accept the death, the more quickly you give room for something new and beautiful to sprout up.”
These lessons have not been easy for me to learn. From time to time, I still have the voices in my head that pop up and tell me to go back to the old, that it wasn’t so bad… When I hear these voices, I call them Saboteurs. I tell them I realize the mind game they are trying to play on me. They want to keep me safe; they want to keep me in my comfort zone. Staying in my comfort zone is not the path I am consciously choosing. I tell my Saboteurs to go away.
I went through all of this so I can grow and move forward in life. I am not turning back. I owe it to myself to be the best version of me I can possibly be. And I know by doing so, I inspire others to do the same.
Here’s to learning the lessons we need to learn, in order to live the truly orgasmically joyful lives we are meant to have!